Two Years
By Dr. Brown
Wow! Two Years – where did it go? It’s amazing to look back and think about how you used to hold this tiny baby in your arms, not sure why he was crying. Now he’s a ball of energy - all over the place, and smart as a whip! It’s incredible to think of all the changes that have occurred. So far you’ve seen a lot of physical things occur: he’s increased in size and has developed all these motor capabilities. Well, get ready because now it’s the brain’s turn. Physical development will continue, but not at it’s previous pace, and what goes on inside your child’s head will amaze you!
Spirited, carefree, imaginative, smart, trying – all adjectives to describe the two year old. This is a wonderful year because you can see your child’s brain just taking off! This is a year that your child will learn rote things (counting, colors, shapes) and begin to show lots of imagination and pretend play. Motor capabilities are pretty set, but continue to go through increasing refinement during this year.
Two year olds can be very intense in their emotional expression – going from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye. They can be inflexible, rigid, and domineering. Temper tantrums can occur out of nowhere, and hugs of delight occur just as magically.
The two year old is beginning to learn to become sociable. Cooperative play builds; children will begin to play with each other, laughing when a friend does something silly. By the end of the year, children may become very involved in “scripted” scenes such as playing house or having a tea party.
Unfortunately, children can also develop a lot of fears during this year: from noises, to monsters, to the bathtub! Their brain has developed enough now to become aware of things, but not advanced enough to dispel unreasonable things like monsters, or that they might go down the bathtub drain like the water.
The two year old also becomes pretty good at playing his parents like a fine tuned violin! Children learn what to do to get their parents to laugh or how to use a tantrum to get their way. They are beginning to understand social interactions, although very primitively.
DEVELOPMENTAL PLAY
Social play continues to evolve at this time. Play is more cooperative where one child will chase another, follow him down the slide or laugh at his silliness. Don’t necessarily expect shared or cooperative play, but encourage it by exposing your child to other children and cousins.
To encourage autonomy, control, and to prevent conflicts with your child, try to give choices to the two year old. However, make sure that the potential choices are ok with you. For example, if it’s very cold outside and you need your daughter to wear pants instead of a dress, ask her “do you want to wear the red pants or the blue pants?” The hidden message here is that you’re wearing pants, a dress is not a choice, so choose your pants!
The two year olds memory can be just amazing! Encourage and promote memory by having your child “help you” remember the things you need to get at the store. It’s better to talk about things you are engaged in at the time to help your child’s learning rather than abstract things or things your child isn’t interested in at the time. Remember, your role is not to push words into your child’s ears, your role is to notice what your child is showing an interest in and responding accordingly.
Continue to read to your child. Be sure to expound on what you see in the book, don’t just read the words. Once your child is familiar with the book you might be able to ask him “what’s going to happen next?” Make the book relative - if there is a dog in the book you are reading, stop and say something like “it’s a big doggie like grandma’s dog Rover”. Reading and Learning specialists call this dialogic (as in dialogue not monologue) reading. Your child should begin to anticipate things in the familiar books – so challenge him.
Perhaps the most important advice I can give to you and your child’s play is to PLAY THE WAY YOUR CHILD WANTS TO PLAY. All too often, with good intention, we parents want to direct a child’s play to show them the right way, teach them, whatever. However, good intention doesn’t necessarily yield good results. Developmental specialists strongly suggest “following your child’s lead”. Don’t worry about finishing that book you’re reading – maybe your child wants to turn the pages to quick get to the end to find the doggie picture he saw on the previous page!
Children still like to manipulate objects, but there’s a lot more purpose to it. Imaginative play – feeding a doll, pretend kitchen, driving a train, putting out a fire, are really wonderful skills for two year olds.
Art projects and self expression are wonderful for two year olds. Paints, crayons, markers, play-doh , large Legos, and other materials are great to work with. Be sure to comment, but not generically, about your child’s achievements: “I see lots of red lines, and here are some blue circles” “that’s a big house you made”.
Your child may be interested in riding a tricycle during this year. Initially, she’ll just use her legs to push, but by the end of this year, she may actually be pedaling. Of course, other gross motor activities can be practiced at the park.
A note about toys: don't have too many toys out at once. Just keep a few toys out and rotate in new ones every once in a while. Don't overwhelm your child; let him master things without extra distractions.
Go to the section "Child Development" on our website to get more info.
FEEDING / NUTRITION
Children should still eat from the four food groups. You can look on www.mypyramid.gov for more info. It’s generally recommended to have at least two servings of milk (16 ozs) per day to provide adequate calcium intake. It’s also a general recommendation to reduce to non-fat skim milk for the rest of your child’s life!
Mealtime should still be with the family and involve a lot of socialization. Children can learn a lot at mealtime. Comment on everything that’s going on: what she’s eating, the food color, is it hot, did it fall off the spoon, etc.
For specific recommendations on what to eat, how much, what food groups, etc, go to the USDA's site for the children's food pyramid and go to "Interactive Tools" > "My Pyramid Plan". Once you are in this site, you may also want to check out the section "Specific Audiences" to find your child's estimated caloric intake, sample meal plans, snack ideas, etc. This site can be found at:
http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx
SLEEP
Most children are still taking a nap, but many drop it out around three years of age. Although sleep requirements vary, ten to twelve hours of sleep is pretty usual in a twenty-four hour period.
Night-time fears can really become a nuisance. You should probably not refute your child’s fear. Instead, listen and acknowledge the concern, then proceed to demonstrate that there are no monsters under the bed. After enough of this, hopefully, your child will understand. Not acknowledging and giving concern about the fear will probably only make it worse for your child.
SELF-HELP SKILLS
Allow your child to attempt to dress / undress themselves, open things, or at least assist you with these duties. It’s a time killer, but pays off in the end and provides other benefits like a “can-do” attitude. Allowing a child to build self esteem and a “can-do” sense is very beneficial for children. You want your child to try and tackle new challenges, right?
A cautious word about praise: Sure, praise is good, but too much can lead your child down a dangerous path (more about this later – or see the book “Nurture Shock” in our recommended book section). When you praise your child, make sure to praise the “effort” or the “initiative”. Be specific: “you helped mommy carry all those cans – what a good girl”.
Toilet Training usually begins around two years of age – depending on the child and what’s going on in the house (ie – stressors). There are lots of books written on this topic, check out our Recommended Books section of the website. Face it, this is really “toilet-choosing”, rather than “toilet-training” because your child has the final answer in this matter. So, choose a good time and use patience.
SAFETY
As usual, watch out for choking and poisonings. Children at this age are learning to open and close bottles - which opens a bigger array of possible poisonings. Poison Control telephone number is: 1-800/222-1222
Children of this age watch those around them, and may try to mimic adult behavior, trying to manipulate things like sharp kitchen utensils, electrical devices, etc.
Kids like to climb at this age. Watch out for objects that they may climb on and tip over. Your child will learn to pull a chair over to climb on to get at something higher. Now, almost nothing is off limits!
Please see our page on "Babyproofing" Your Home / Safety Checklist on our website.
COMMON PROBLEMS
Picky Appetite
Although the two-year old’s appetite tends to get better, be sure to try to maintain balance. Give a vitamin if you are worried.
Temper Tantrums / Conflict
Children can express their wishes pretty well at this age. When parents don’t acquiesce, temper tantrums can erupt. This may be a good time to utilize the “Time-Out” technique, depending on your parenting philosophy. See “Recommended Books – Discipline” on our website for several different books on “discipline”. Choose the book that seems to best fit with your tendency.
Conflicts With Friends / Not Sharing
Don’t expect your child to share, but only practice will help him to learn sharing. If there’s an understanding friend and child that can help you work through this, that’s great. If your son doesn’t want to share his fire truck, put it away if you are having playgroup that day.
Sleep Disturbances
Many children who had been great sleepers may begin to wake up in the middle of the night. Some of this may be attributed to teething, but also many children tend to go through another stage of separation anxiety wherein they need to check-in with a parent. Use whatever approach that you feel most comfortable with – reassuring your child is a good plan, but try not to be too friendly. Give your child a clear message that he should be sleeping.
Refusal to go to sleep is common at this age. Try to be consistent with your message and your routine.
WHAT TO EXPECT
Doctors Office Visits
Doctors office visits may get easier, depending on your child’s temperament. Some begin to like the doctor, just as they find interest in the fireman, policeman, waitress, etc.
Language
Your child will begin to put ideas together and will astound you. Some may be ready for rote memorization of numbers, alphabet, etc. This is ok if it’s the child that is really interested in these things!
Social
More and more cooperative play will occur. Allow children to play on their own to learn how to watch, take cues, interact and “negotiate” with others. Playing with others will get him to experience and learn the "give and take" of social relationships.
Use the term “turn” as in turn-taking. Mom and dad should also incorporate the word “turn” in their conversations with each other so that the child can hear and see that the whole world has to take turns!
Remember: PLAY THE WAY YOUR CHILD WANTS TO PLAY!!!!!
VISION
You can print out vision charts and play a “seeing game” with your child. Go to the “Staying Healthy” section of our website – “vision screening” to print out the charts and for instructions. Play the game seeing if mommy and daddy can “do a good job” at seeing the letters/symbols.
Whenever you can think of it, try this test to see if your child's vision seems to be equal from both eyes:
When she's looking intently at an object, cover one eye with your hand, then cover the other. What you're doing is checking to see if she protests consistently. For example, if your child has a "weak" right eye, she'll probably allow you to cover that eye because she can still see well from the left eye. If you now cover her left or "good" eye, she may protest or push your hand away because things may appear blurry out of the right or "weak" eye. It's very likely that she'll protest whenever you do either eye, but if she consistently allows you to cover one eye and not the other, there may be a problem.
DENTAL
You should be wiping or brushing your child’s teeth. Use just plain water, a fluoride-free toothpaste, or less than a pea-sized bit of regular toothpaste. A great way to get your child involved is to have him watch you in your daily ritual, then one day offer him his very own brush. Likely, he will try to mimic you. After a while tell him, now mommy’s turn, so that he knows from the start that mommy has to finish the job! If your child drinks water, its best to have it supplemented with fluoride.
It's a good time to be thinking about going to a dentist. When this visit occurs partly on what's happening with your child's teeth, and how he may sit still and open his mouth for the dentist. Pediatric dentists are specially trained for kid's problems and have the patience and "tricks" to get a child to cooperate.
AUTISM
If you have any concerns, please see the section below "Special Topics" - Autism. There is also a checklist on our website under the Autism Section – you can download the checklist “Developmental Screen for 15-18 month old children” and bring it into the office for review.
Wow! Two Years – where did it go? It’s amazing to look back and think about how you used to hold this tiny baby in your arms, not sure why he was crying. Now he’s a ball of energy - all over the place, and smart as a whip! It’s incredible to think of all the changes that have occurred. So far you’ve seen a lot of physical things occur: he’s increased in size and has developed all these motor capabilities. Well, get ready because now it’s the brain’s turn. Physical development will continue, but not at it’s previous pace, and what goes on inside your child’s head will amaze you!
Spirited, carefree, imaginative, smart, trying – all adjectives to describe the two year old. This is a wonderful year because you can see your child’s brain just taking off! This is a year that your child will learn rote things (counting, colors, shapes) and begin to show lots of imagination and pretend play. Motor capabilities are pretty set, but continue to go through increasing refinement during this year.
Two year olds can be very intense in their emotional expression – going from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye. They can be inflexible, rigid, and domineering. Temper tantrums can occur out of nowhere, and hugs of delight occur just as magically.
The two year old is beginning to learn to become sociable. Cooperative play builds; children will begin to play with each other, laughing when a friend does something silly. By the end of the year, children may become very involved in “scripted” scenes such as playing house or having a tea party.
Unfortunately, children can also develop a lot of fears during this year: from noises, to monsters, to the bathtub! Their brain has developed enough now to become aware of things, but not advanced enough to dispel unreasonable things like monsters, or that they might go down the bathtub drain like the water.
The two year old also becomes pretty good at playing his parents like a fine tuned violin! Children learn what to do to get their parents to laugh or how to use a tantrum to get their way. They are beginning to understand social interactions, although very primitively.
DEVELOPMENTAL PLAY
Social play continues to evolve at this time. Play is more cooperative where one child will chase another, follow him down the slide or laugh at his silliness. Don’t necessarily expect shared or cooperative play, but encourage it by exposing your child to other children and cousins.
To encourage autonomy, control, and to prevent conflicts with your child, try to give choices to the two year old. However, make sure that the potential choices are ok with you. For example, if it’s very cold outside and you need your daughter to wear pants instead of a dress, ask her “do you want to wear the red pants or the blue pants?” The hidden message here is that you’re wearing pants, a dress is not a choice, so choose your pants!
The two year olds memory can be just amazing! Encourage and promote memory by having your child “help you” remember the things you need to get at the store. It’s better to talk about things you are engaged in at the time to help your child’s learning rather than abstract things or things your child isn’t interested in at the time. Remember, your role is not to push words into your child’s ears, your role is to notice what your child is showing an interest in and responding accordingly.
Continue to read to your child. Be sure to expound on what you see in the book, don’t just read the words. Once your child is familiar with the book you might be able to ask him “what’s going to happen next?” Make the book relative - if there is a dog in the book you are reading, stop and say something like “it’s a big doggie like grandma’s dog Rover”. Reading and Learning specialists call this dialogic (as in dialogue not monologue) reading. Your child should begin to anticipate things in the familiar books – so challenge him.
Perhaps the most important advice I can give to you and your child’s play is to PLAY THE WAY YOUR CHILD WANTS TO PLAY. All too often, with good intention, we parents want to direct a child’s play to show them the right way, teach them, whatever. However, good intention doesn’t necessarily yield good results. Developmental specialists strongly suggest “following your child’s lead”. Don’t worry about finishing that book you’re reading – maybe your child wants to turn the pages to quick get to the end to find the doggie picture he saw on the previous page!
Children still like to manipulate objects, but there’s a lot more purpose to it. Imaginative play – feeding a doll, pretend kitchen, driving a train, putting out a fire, are really wonderful skills for two year olds.
Art projects and self expression are wonderful for two year olds. Paints, crayons, markers, play-doh , large Legos, and other materials are great to work with. Be sure to comment, but not generically, about your child’s achievements: “I see lots of red lines, and here are some blue circles” “that’s a big house you made”.
Your child may be interested in riding a tricycle during this year. Initially, she’ll just use her legs to push, but by the end of this year, she may actually be pedaling. Of course, other gross motor activities can be practiced at the park.
A note about toys: don't have too many toys out at once. Just keep a few toys out and rotate in new ones every once in a while. Don't overwhelm your child; let him master things without extra distractions.
Go to the section "Child Development" on our website to get more info.
FEEDING / NUTRITION
Children should still eat from the four food groups. You can look on www.mypyramid.gov for more info. It’s generally recommended to have at least two servings of milk (16 ozs) per day to provide adequate calcium intake. It’s also a general recommendation to reduce to non-fat skim milk for the rest of your child’s life!
Mealtime should still be with the family and involve a lot of socialization. Children can learn a lot at mealtime. Comment on everything that’s going on: what she’s eating, the food color, is it hot, did it fall off the spoon, etc.
For specific recommendations on what to eat, how much, what food groups, etc, go to the USDA's site for the children's food pyramid and go to "Interactive Tools" > "My Pyramid Plan". Once you are in this site, you may also want to check out the section "Specific Audiences" to find your child's estimated caloric intake, sample meal plans, snack ideas, etc. This site can be found at:
http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx
SLEEP
Most children are still taking a nap, but many drop it out around three years of age. Although sleep requirements vary, ten to twelve hours of sleep is pretty usual in a twenty-four hour period.
Night-time fears can really become a nuisance. You should probably not refute your child’s fear. Instead, listen and acknowledge the concern, then proceed to demonstrate that there are no monsters under the bed. After enough of this, hopefully, your child will understand. Not acknowledging and giving concern about the fear will probably only make it worse for your child.
SELF-HELP SKILLS
Allow your child to attempt to dress / undress themselves, open things, or at least assist you with these duties. It’s a time killer, but pays off in the end and provides other benefits like a “can-do” attitude. Allowing a child to build self esteem and a “can-do” sense is very beneficial for children. You want your child to try and tackle new challenges, right?
A cautious word about praise: Sure, praise is good, but too much can lead your child down a dangerous path (more about this later – or see the book “Nurture Shock” in our recommended book section). When you praise your child, make sure to praise the “effort” or the “initiative”. Be specific: “you helped mommy carry all those cans – what a good girl”.
Toilet Training usually begins around two years of age – depending on the child and what’s going on in the house (ie – stressors). There are lots of books written on this topic, check out our Recommended Books section of the website. Face it, this is really “toilet-choosing”, rather than “toilet-training” because your child has the final answer in this matter. So, choose a good time and use patience.
SAFETY
As usual, watch out for choking and poisonings. Children at this age are learning to open and close bottles - which opens a bigger array of possible poisonings. Poison Control telephone number is: 1-800/222-1222
Children of this age watch those around them, and may try to mimic adult behavior, trying to manipulate things like sharp kitchen utensils, electrical devices, etc.
Kids like to climb at this age. Watch out for objects that they may climb on and tip over. Your child will learn to pull a chair over to climb on to get at something higher. Now, almost nothing is off limits!
Please see our page on "Babyproofing" Your Home / Safety Checklist on our website.
COMMON PROBLEMS
Picky Appetite
Although the two-year old’s appetite tends to get better, be sure to try to maintain balance. Give a vitamin if you are worried.
Temper Tantrums / Conflict
Children can express their wishes pretty well at this age. When parents don’t acquiesce, temper tantrums can erupt. This may be a good time to utilize the “Time-Out” technique, depending on your parenting philosophy. See “Recommended Books – Discipline” on our website for several different books on “discipline”. Choose the book that seems to best fit with your tendency.
Conflicts With Friends / Not Sharing
Don’t expect your child to share, but only practice will help him to learn sharing. If there’s an understanding friend and child that can help you work through this, that’s great. If your son doesn’t want to share his fire truck, put it away if you are having playgroup that day.
Sleep Disturbances
Many children who had been great sleepers may begin to wake up in the middle of the night. Some of this may be attributed to teething, but also many children tend to go through another stage of separation anxiety wherein they need to check-in with a parent. Use whatever approach that you feel most comfortable with – reassuring your child is a good plan, but try not to be too friendly. Give your child a clear message that he should be sleeping.
Refusal to go to sleep is common at this age. Try to be consistent with your message and your routine.
WHAT TO EXPECT
Doctors Office Visits
Doctors office visits may get easier, depending on your child’s temperament. Some begin to like the doctor, just as they find interest in the fireman, policeman, waitress, etc.
Language
Your child will begin to put ideas together and will astound you. Some may be ready for rote memorization of numbers, alphabet, etc. This is ok if it’s the child that is really interested in these things!
Social
More and more cooperative play will occur. Allow children to play on their own to learn how to watch, take cues, interact and “negotiate” with others. Playing with others will get him to experience and learn the "give and take" of social relationships.
Use the term “turn” as in turn-taking. Mom and dad should also incorporate the word “turn” in their conversations with each other so that the child can hear and see that the whole world has to take turns!
Remember: PLAY THE WAY YOUR CHILD WANTS TO PLAY!!!!!
VISION
You can print out vision charts and play a “seeing game” with your child. Go to the “Staying Healthy” section of our website – “vision screening” to print out the charts and for instructions. Play the game seeing if mommy and daddy can “do a good job” at seeing the letters/symbols.
Whenever you can think of it, try this test to see if your child's vision seems to be equal from both eyes:
When she's looking intently at an object, cover one eye with your hand, then cover the other. What you're doing is checking to see if she protests consistently. For example, if your child has a "weak" right eye, she'll probably allow you to cover that eye because she can still see well from the left eye. If you now cover her left or "good" eye, she may protest or push your hand away because things may appear blurry out of the right or "weak" eye. It's very likely that she'll protest whenever you do either eye, but if she consistently allows you to cover one eye and not the other, there may be a problem.
DENTAL
You should be wiping or brushing your child’s teeth. Use just plain water, a fluoride-free toothpaste, or less than a pea-sized bit of regular toothpaste. A great way to get your child involved is to have him watch you in your daily ritual, then one day offer him his very own brush. Likely, he will try to mimic you. After a while tell him, now mommy’s turn, so that he knows from the start that mommy has to finish the job! If your child drinks water, its best to have it supplemented with fluoride.
It's a good time to be thinking about going to a dentist. When this visit occurs partly on what's happening with your child's teeth, and how he may sit still and open his mouth for the dentist. Pediatric dentists are specially trained for kid's problems and have the patience and "tricks" to get a child to cooperate.
AUTISM
If you have any concerns, please see the section below "Special Topics" - Autism. There is also a checklist on our website under the Autism Section – you can download the checklist “Developmental Screen for 15-18 month old children” and bring it into the office for review.